


He Loves Me Not

by SelenaTerna



Series: Time Petals Prompt Fics [5]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Comforting TARDIS, F/M, Hurt, Missing Scene, Post-Episode: s02e04 The Girl in the Fireplace, Remorseful Doctor, Rose/TARDIS bond, Rose/TARDIS interaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 00:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10842447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaTerna/pseuds/SelenaTerna
Summary: Rose needs a moment to recover from her adventure aboard a certain fifty-first century spaceship. The TARDIS helps.





	He Loves Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! This is my response to this week's Time Petals ficlet prompt 'Rose talking to the TARDIS'.  
> It's a companion/side piece to my main post-episode GITF fic, which I hope to post soon-ish. This is set mainly from Rose's view, although we do get a brief look at the Doctor. It's a bit heavy on angst, as it's entirely canon compliant. Sorry! I hope you like it anyway! If it's any consolation, I will also be posting a GITF fixit sometime in the next few months (after I post the main piece to this fic).
> 
> And now, on with the show!

Rose slipped into the unknown room and closed the door behind her, leaning against it wearily. “Please,” she croaked. "Can you hide the door?"

The TARDIS hummed and a moment later, the door disappeared, leaving her leaning against a blank wall. Rose exhaled heavily. At least now she didn’t have to worry about Mickey or the Doctor stumbling across her. She didn’t want to be found and the TARDIS had made sure she wouldn’t be. 

“Thanks,” Rose whispered, rapidly blinking back tears.

She wouldn’t cry. She _wouldn’t_.

A couch appeared at the far end of the room, and forcing herself upright, she made her way over, patting the nearest wall as she passed. Sighing, she slumped onto the couch and closed her eyes. “Thanks, love.”

The ship hummed affectionately, her tone slightly worried.

Rose couldn’t blame her; she was pretty worried herself. For a short while after his regeneration, she’d been so sure of her place with the Doctor, her place on the TARDIS. She’d been so sure that he loved her because her first Doctor had loved her, and despite her initial disbelief, she’d trusted him; she’d believed him when he said he was the same man.

But he didn’t.

And he wasn’t.

She sniffed loudly, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes, refusing to let a single tear fall. She wouldn’t let him make her cry; she was stronger than that. She’d been here before, had lived through the bloke she loved leaving her for someone else, and she’d pulled herself out of it and kept going with her life. She could do it again.

No matter how much it ached that the Doctor had abandoned her on a spaceship somewhere in the future to go and play hero to a French courtesan.

She sniffed again and sat up, blinking furiously. _Get it together, Rose_ , she growled at herself. This was getting her nowhere and she wouldn’t fall apart just because the Doctor, this  _new_ Doctor,  had turned out to be just another bloke who’d dropped her as soon as something better came along. He hadn’t been the first bloke who’d led her on, made her think she was more to him than she was, and he hadn’t been the first bloke to break a promise to her. She’d seen the signs, had worried about his sudden distance, about his blowing hot and cold all the time and she’d been proven right. He didn’t feel the same way about her that _her_ Doctor had. He didn’t feel the same way about her that she felt about him.

She sniffed again. But _why_ had he promised he’d never leave her behind if he hadn’t meant it? Why hadn’t he just been honest? Surely she deserved _that_ much, at least.

“ _Not to you_ ,” she said aloud, scrubbing at her face. “ _Not to you_ , he said.” She barked a bitter laugh. “And then not even a day later he leaves me an’ Mickey to die on some space station in the middle of nowhere. “ She felt a sudden surge of anger and shifted restlessly. “Why, though? Why did he make me think he cared about me, why did he make me think I was special and then just dump me somewhere to die without a second thought?” She swallowed painfully. “If ever I needed proof that he’s not…not _my_ Doctor....” 

The TARDIS pulsed soothingly, trying to comfort her and Rose took a deep breath, trying to calm her breathing and lightly stroking the wall. “Thanks, love. But you know I’m right. My Doctor…” She trailed off, her chest aching as she thought of the first Doctor, _her_ Doctor with his daft grin and devastating eyes. “He’d never have done that. He wouldn’t have left me on that deathtrap to run off an’ play white knight. Whatever else he was, he…he cared about me.” She swallowed. “An’ this one doesn’t, not the same way my Doctor did. An' I understand he has different feelins’, I really do. But why did he lie to me? Why didn’t he just tell me up front?” She shook her head. “An’ I just fell for him all over again, like some stupid bint on daytime telly.”

The TARDIS pulsed angrily and Rose _almost_ smiled. However this Doctor felt about her, at least she knew the TARDIS loved her as much as she ever had. 

But that didn’t change facts, however.

“You know it’s true, love,” she said quietly. “I should have known he was different from the beginning, but I was missin’ my Doctor so much that I was desperate to believe it was still him in there, somewhere.” She shook her head. “Should’ve known better. My Doctor wouldn’t have waited four hours to notice I was even missin’, back there in Scotland. My Doctor wouldn’t have just jumped into a lift and left me behind without a word.” She drew in a harsh, painful breath. “And he wouldn’t have left me to die because he fell for someone else.”

The TARDIS’ hum was disconsolate this time.

Closing her eyes against the ache in her chest, she leaned her head against the wall, and the TARDIS sent constant waves of comfort and affection to soothe her as she mourned the loss of her old Doctor and ached from the betrayal of the new.

Long minutes later, she drew a deep breath and sat up, opening her eyes. Her tears were past, now, and the heavy ache in her chest was exhausting. She needed her bed, but she didn’t want to leave this room. She knew the Doctor would probably bounce into her room, trying to pretend everything was fine and that none of this had happened, and she wasn’t up to that, just now. She couldn’t face him yet.

Maybe she could sleep in here- the couch was comfortable enough.

Before she could blink, though, the couch blurred and changed, turning into a large comfortable bed covered with a thick quilt and an inordinate number of pillows. 

Rose tried to smile, relieved at being able to hide just for a while longer. “Thanks, love.”

The TARDIS’ answering hum was filled with so much love and affection that the room almost vibrated with it, easing the burden in Rose’s chest for a brief moment.

She sighed at the momentary relief, and toeing off her shoes, she climbed out of her clothes and slid into bed, the lights dimming almost immediately.

Despite her misgivings, she eventually slept, lulled into slumber by the soft lullaby chiming in her mind and wrapped in the affection of the ancient time-ship.

+++++++++

The Doctor waited silently outside Rose’s room, his initial panic at being unable to find her only slightly eased by the TARDIS’ curt reply that she was well. His hearts had grown heavy as he realised that he couldn’t find Rose because she didn’t _want_ to be found and he’d begged the TARDIS to show him where she was, only to be immediately rebuffed. Worse still, his bond with the TARDIS was all but silent now, only the slightest sense of her presence in his mind confirming that she was still there. 

He exhaled heavily, leaning his head against the door. The TARDIS had never blocked any part of their bond before, and his already empty mind echoed with the loss. That wasn’t what hurt the most, however.

It was Rose.

His gut swirled with guilt at what he had done to her, to _them,_ and his hearts ached with the thought that he might have destroyed the one bond he cherished above all others. He’d let his fear dictate his actions and acted selfishly, impulsively.

And it might just have cost him everything.

And so he waited, hoping against hope that Rose would emerge from wherever it was she was hiding, that she’d come back to her room and he could make sure they were alright. 

He waited for five and a half hours, but she never came.

The next morning in the galley she was all smiles, acting as though nothing had happened. Her eyes told a different story however; they were guarded, now, expressionless.

Hiding her from him. 

She’d never hidden from him before, and it _hurt_. One thing was clear- he had to fix this. 

Soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me on countessselena.tumblr.com.


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